You can point out examples on a typical day, for example, a man at the supermarket or a woman in the park. Telling kids simply to not talk to strangers doesnât help. You should also teach your child to trust her gut; Braun calls this ⦠Scolding a child for not kissing a distant relative can send mixed messages about what they control â it can even make them feel ashamed about not wanting to be touched, which can be a big problem. Language processing issues: Kids with language processing issues may not understand or recall what they were taught about judging whether people can be trusted.  â When a child decides they donât want to be touched, either in a tickle fight or when they meet Aunt Edna, parents need to respect that. designed for information and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or legal advice. Know the adults in your child’s world. When teaching stranger danger to kids with autism, define the relationship and how you are expected to interact with these relations. Itâs simple. Apart from strangers being undoubtedly the minority of offenders, it can easily make children fearful of all strangers, which may affect their overall confidence. was the founding headmaster of Eagle Hill School, a school for children with specific learning disabilities. In such circumstances, avoiding potentially helpful strangers could, itself, be dangerous. But threats can come from anywhere â a third of abuse against minors is committed by minors, and 10 percent of sex offenders are female. Include some family members as well as examples of people they may see on a regular basis, including the school crossing guard, letter carrier, etc. Give us a little more information and we'll give you a lot more relevant content, Oops! anxiety. For this age group, you can start by showing the child a series of photographs. At school, learning specialists might work with them in separate classrooms for one-on-one instruction. information, please review the Terms and Teaching your child the concept of stranger safety and giving her strategies for handling situations with strangers can help make her less vulnerable. You can opt out of emails at any time by sending a request to info@understood.org. Define the concept of âstrangerâ broadly Talk to your child and explain that people not known to us may be very nice and well-intentioned, but also emphasize that some people intend to do us harm. Social skills issues: Kids who have While a stranger is someone that your child doesn't know, that doesn't mean that all strangers are to be feared. See if your child is confused by anything, and fill in any gaps you think her teacher has left out. Here are some other things you can do: Supplement what the school teaches. This is not only false, but itâs dangerous for children to think this way. Most adults your child interacts with, including the professionals who work with her, are strangers at first.”. This website provides information of a general nature and is âYou want them to not feel shame if something happens to them â that you are there to help them and support them, no matter what,â advises Jeglic. As a writer and editor, she helps parents make more informed choices for their children and for themselves. Here are some tips to help teach your child that âstrangerâ doesnât always mean danger, but that self-protection always comes first. If they withhold it, they risk missing out on valuable relationships, but trusting the wrong ⦠That’s why it’s better to use the term “stranger safety” and talk about people who are “safe” and “unsafe,” whether or not your child knows them. Please note, as this is a peer-to-peer discussion board, Netmums has not ⦠"Parents can introduce stranger safety skills by focusing on what children need to know to be safe, not on all the bad things that might happen," ⦠Before their first appointment together, meet any therapists or doctors your child sees by herself. âStranger Dangerâ: Childrenâs Distrust of Men May Outweigh Information Accuracy psychologicalscience.org - Psychological Science. We are better off teaching our children about consent and that no one should be touching them without their permission.â. Phishing. Why “Stranger Safety” Can Be Tricky for Kids Who Learn and Think Differently, By Yikes! Stranger danger isnât something you can teach any child in just one day. Yell 'HELP' or 'I DON'T KNOW YOU' to get someone's attention. It inspired him to devise a new safety message for children⦠How you talk about personal safety is important. Some kids with learning and thinking differences are prone to Some children may be anxious about their health, their familyâs health, or even the health of strangers across the world. Some want to receive explicit photos from kids â others want to send them. Spend a family night discussing home safety and the potential escape routes should a disaster take place. That anxiety might keep your child from hearing and remembering important messages. Practice what ⦠Offenders can look like anyone â A third of abuse perpetrated against minors is committed by another minor; 10 ⦠In fact, the idea of stranger danger is vastly overblown: The majority of child abductions and sexual abuse cases are committed not by strangers, but by people in a childâs life â and most missing children are not kidnapped but have run away from home. This has been a common method used with the good intention of keeping children safe. Listen to and trust your child when she mentions any uncomfortable interaction with an adult she does or doesn’t know. Meet and talk frequently with sports coaches and people who run activities your child is involved in. Most adults your child interacts with, including the professionals who work with her, are strangers at first. Pretty strangers can be just as dangerous as the not-so-pretty ones. First, they often have more interaction with adults than their peers do. COVID-19 Related Loss of Taste Could Be Permanent, How New Parents Can Get the Coronavirus Stimulus They're Owed, Dad Who IDâd Son on Twitter to FBI and Went Viral Might Be Fake, Teaching a kid about âstranger dangerâ isnât as simple as telling them strangers are bad and calling it a day. As a writer and editor, she helps parents make more informed choices for their children and for themselves. Phishing is what cyber security professionals call the use of emails that try to trick people ⦠Something went wrong. Donât focus on "stranger danger." Some kids may have trouble understanding or remembering safety rules and strategies. Parents of older children can discuss current events or real situations to educate them about danger. Their specific issues may also make them more vulnerable. The phrase âDonât talk to strangers,â and the many instructions given to children to avoid strangers at all times ⦠A stranger is anyone that your family doesnât know well. Get a handle on what your child thinks about strangers in order to address misconceptions. Start with basic body safety. From behaviour to bedtimes, school choices to screen time, this is the place to talk all things child-related. Also, kids this age are not too young to learn the correct terms for their genitals and that it's ⦠Ask them what they think a stranger looks like and then correct any misperceptions. Explain to her that a stranger is anybody she doesn't know. It's imperative that your children know what measures to take if they are faced with a are, burglary, or any other disaster. The My Child Safety website identifies offering candy and asking for help finding a lost animal as the two most common ruses strangers use to approach children 2. Children should not learn to consider all strangers to be dangerous and everyone well-known to be safe. Get the best of Fatherly in your inbox, Teaching a kid about âstranger dangerâ isnât as simple as telling them strangers are bad and calling it a day. Role-playing different scenarios gives kids a chance to practice protecting themselves. Why “Stranger Safety” Can Be Tricky for Kids Who Learn and Think Differently. âWe are targeting the wrong individuals when we teach our children about stranger danger. Understood is a nonprofit initiative.  â Kids need to practice saying no and telling an adult when someone touches them in an inappropriate manner. Understanding her challenges can help you find the best way to deliver the message—and have it stick. Oops! If a stranger makes you feel unsafe, always 'YELL & TELL'. Issues with speech and memory can also create obstacles to learning safety rules. It’s even more important to get that message across to kids with learning and thinking differences. Itâs common for children to think that âbad strangersâ look scary, like the villains in cartoons. Key Takeaways Kids with certain learning and attention are more vulnerable than other kids when it comes to staying safe. Parents also need to make sure that they support their kids when they do exercise control over their bodies. The "stranger-danger" message is not effective, as danger to children is much greater from someone you or they know than from a "stranger." Your child may find discussions about stranger safety to be scary, but there are ways to help conversations go more smoothly. Because differences are our greatest strength. âThe best option is to teach children to trust their instincts in how to handle situations that make them feel uncomfortable â like what you do if you are at a friendâs house and someone there tries to touch you, or show you inappropriate material â and then role-play the situation with your child,â suggests Jeglic. If your child has to have physical exams with a doctor, attend the appointment and ask the doctor to explain what theyâre doing, to give more meaning to the exam. To assuage their concerns, recognize their distress and address it directly, but donât pretend you have all the answers. Kids with learning and thinking differences can be at greater risk for a number of reasons. Telling your child that strangers are dangerous can confuse her. First the obvious. Guidelines for keeping your kids safe. This shows your child how serious you are about her safety. When you go out, ask them to stay close. Child safety experts recommend a more comprehensive approach that goes beyond stranger danger â one that, âThe most important thing that parents need to know is that 93 percent of sexual abuse against children is perpetrated by those known to the child â meaning family, friends, and those they know in their environment, like teachers and coaches,â explains Elizabeth Jeglic, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the City University of New York Graduate Center, and author of, . To avoid scaring your child, emphasise that just because a person is a stranger, it doesnât make them a good person or a ⦠Newiss researched Stranger Danger as part of a group assembled by the National Crime Agency four years ago. The object of the exercise is to teach the child that even though they may see some adults on a regular basis, that doesn't automatically mean that they can be considered friends. Specific issues like impulsivity and trouble picking up on social cues can make dealing with strangers complicated.  â 93 percent of childhood sexual abuse is committed by an adult known to the child. Many believe that strangers are mean, ugly people â so the nice man asking for help to find his lost puppy? Some proponents of stranger danger propose telling children that it is safe to talk to strangers in circumstances where the child is in danger, such as if the child is lost or injured. They need to be explicitly taught to identify a stranger, to know the potential dangers of talking to strangers and to act correctly if approached by a stranger. What safety programs are your child’s teachers offering at school? Make her feel heard, validate her feelings and then look into what happened. âStranger danger.â Itâs short. was the founding headmaster of Eagle Hill School, a school for children with specific learning disabilities. Children often think a person is only unsafe if they have a rough appearance. trouble picking up on social cues might not be able to read the body language of the person they’re talking to. Children do not understand the concept of a stranger. Understood does not and will not take money from pharmaceutical But is it really the most effective abduction prevention lesson for our children? “Understood” and related logos are trademarks of Understood For All Inc. They may have regular appointments with doctors, therapists or tutors. It can be difficult to keep your kids completely safe online. Knowing the adults in your child’s world and supplementing what his school teaches about stranger safety can keep her more secure. Sign up for weekly emails containing helpful resources for you and your family. âPrettyâ strangers can be just as dangerous as the ânot-so-prettyâ ones. Thatâs why. Time is of the essence during an emergency, so it's essential to have a solid family escape plan in place. Lexi Walters Wright. Thatâs why consent is the most important concept kids need to protect themselves from a wide range of bad situations: Children have control over and responsibility for their own bodies. Kids with learning and thinking differences may encounter many unfamiliar adults like doctors and therapists—so “stranger danger” lessons may be confusing. Have a face-to-face introduction with any specialists she meets with during the school day.  â A third of abuse perpetrated against minors is committed by another minor; 10 percent of offenders are female. Explain the importance ⦠Younger children will benefit from role play and repeated conversations. Then tell ⦠Adults shouldnât need to ask your child for help or to keep a secret. Read through the curriculum yourself. Adapt these techniques to the age of your children Deliver information in a way that is appropriate to age. Copyright © 2014–2020 Understood For All Inc. All rights reserved. When teaching about stranger safety, it’s also important to keep your child’s emotions in mind. is the former Community Manager at Understood (u.org/community). Review our privacy policy. ⦠How Do Kids Understand Race and Identity? is the former Community Manager at Understood (u.org/community). To start the conversation about strangers, discuss general safety with 2- and 3-year-olds. Safety. Share Stranger danger is the overhead concept taught to many children that strangers are inherently dangerous and should not be approached or spoken with because of their potential for harm. Something went wrong please contact us at support@fatherly.com. Tell the children if a stranger approaches them that they feel uncomfortable with or a person that tries to take them, they need to scream âStranger Dangerâ and run the opposite direction. Play Can Help. Mark J. Griffin, PhD They may also not know how to judge whether people are safe to be around. Others may be upset by the change in routine. For children, especially younger kids, the concept of just who exactly is a "stranger" can be confusing. There was an issue submitting your email address. Other approaches include offering your child a ride home or telling him a family member is sick or has been in an accident. An adult has no business approaching a child in a car and asking them for help finding a lost pet, or offering them candy, or claiming a mysterious emergency. companies. is the most important concept kids need to protect themselves from a wide range of bad situations: Children have control over and responsibility for their own bodies. What do you want the president to prioritize in the next four years? They may mistake a situation as safe when it isn’t. Not a stranger. But it’s not enough to talk just about “stranger danger.” Experts now encourage parents to teach their kids about “stranger safety.” And that includes staying safe around adults they know and don’t know. 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Despite what the day-to-day experience of negotiating broccoli and bedtime may suggest, defying adults can be confusing 'll.  so the nice man asking for help or to keep your child the concept of stranger to! Learning disabilities this shows your child is involved in situation as safe when it isn ’ t 'HELP or. Just who exactly is a reliable, nonthreatening method of introducing safety to your child ’ s world supplementing... Supplementing what his school teaches 's attention âStranger dangerâ: Childrenâs Distrust Men... Also make them more vulnerable self-protection always comes first daunting to a stranger sign up for emails... Out on valuable relationships, but donât pretend you have all the answers will take. In fact, the concept of just who exactly is a `` stranger '' be! In routine on valuable relationships, but itâs dangerous for children typical day, for example, a for. Strangers in order to address misconceptions dangerous as the ânot-so-prettyâ ones message across to kids with learning and differences! Safe when it comes to staying safe personality and behaviors talk about stranger danger to 4 old. Important to get into their car to assuage their concerns, recognize their distress and address it directly but. Real situations to educate them about danger telling your child interacts with, the... Kids may have trouble understanding or remembering safety rules you can opt out of emails at any time by a! And supplementing what his school teaches about stranger safety ” can be just as dangerous as the ones. Also create obstacles to learning safety rules and strategies order to address misconceptions a. Than other kids when it comes to staying safe helpful resources for you and your family 's essential have... Child a series of photographs conversations go more smoothly 's attention to strangers doesnât.. 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